Birds of a feather flock together

and poop on your car. _________________________

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.


Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.


A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the

right thing at the right time, but also to leave

unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the

house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong,

you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so

he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you

take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking


how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice:

When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together

it spells "Theirs."

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