Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she should have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
****
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."
****
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them
to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
****
A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus to
Jerusalem?
A small child replied, "They couldn't find a baby-sitter."
****
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with five and
six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
****
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created from Adam's ribs. 
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
 ****
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I?"
Ready to play the game, she said, "I don't know, who are you?" 
"WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right. She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me."
****
A wise school teacher sends this note home to all parents on the first day of school. "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he/she says happens at home."